Here is the rough draft of scene 2 of Thy Judgement Come. As always any input is welcome. No really, feel free to voice your opinion about anything from subject matter to word choice.
Jacob let out a sigh when the final bell rang at 3:30. As his students slung
their bags over their shoulders he called out "Don't forget, research topics are
due tomorrow for your essays."
The air in his room barely worked and he had the sleeves of his button down
shirt rolled up to his elbows. He was regretting wearing a sweater vest.
Collapsing at his desk he began stacking tests to take home. He heard footsteps
stop in front of his desk. He looked up to see two sophomore girls standing
"Mr. Scribner, we're having a super hard time finding a topic to write about"
said the one on the right.
"Totally" chimed in the girl on the left.
"Well ladies," he replied. "You just need to find something that interests you. It doesn't really matter what it is. Just find something that you'd like to
learn more about."
"Yes Mr. Scribner" they both replied. They giggled and left arm in arm.
He shook his head at their backs and finished putting his tests in a manila
folder. He slid the folder into his briefcase. Slinging it over his shoulder he
walked down the hall to the parking lot.
Eyes blinking at the afternoon light he saw the busses pulling out with their loads of shouting and laughing students. He could feel the gravel digging into the soles of his loafers as he made his way to his car.
He was fishing his keys out of his pocket when he felt his phone vibrate. He reached with his other hand to get it and when he did he dropped his keys. He bent down and swore as he picked them up.
Looking at his phone he saw a number
that he didn't recognize. That didn't really mean much, however, as he was used
to getting calls from parents inquiring why he had "given" their child a failing
grade on a test. He hit the answer button and said "Hello."
"Mr. Scribner?" asked a male voice.
"Speaking" he replied. "Who is this?” He tried to hide the annoyance in his voice but he was sure that it came through.
"My name is Leon and I'm going to kill your wife."
"That's not funny at all" Jacob started to say, but the man on the other end had
already hung up. “What the hell?”
He saw something on the windshield of his car and assumed it was a flyer for a
fundraiser or church event. When he got closer though he realized that it was an
He took it out from under his wiper blade and opened it up. Inside he found a stack of photos. He pulled them out to look at them and when he saw what they were of he felt like he had been punched in the gut.
The pictures themselves were innocent enough. They were of mundane things like people eating lunch, driving, in line at the bank. It was the subject that was
disturbing. They were all pictures of his wife. The last one was of her walking
into the hospital with a date and time stamp from that morning.
His heart started racing and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. Jumping in
his car he raced out of the parking lot. He typed in Mary's cell number as he drove, trying to keep one eye on the road. Her phone went to voicemail.
"Mary, call me as soon as you get this, it's urgent."
The next number he tried was the hospital number. It rang twice before a
"Rosepont General Hospital, this is Susie, how may I help you?"
"Susie, this is Jacob Scribner, is Mary around?"
"Hold on one moment and I'll page her", the nurse responded.
He fretted, darting in and out of traffic on the highway, while he waited. It took agonizing minutes for Susie to pick the phone back up.
"I'm sorry Jacob, she's not answering the all call and no one knows where she
"Susie, listen to me closely, this is very important. Call security and have
them look for her. I'm on my way there. Call me as soon as you find her."